Getting A College Cheerleader

1. Notice Her.

This ain’t high school anymore. Her glory days of prancing around in her skimpy uniform on homecoming day are over. With the size of college student bodies, your girl is going unnoticed and missing her notoriety as a main attraction. Well you get that back to her – pronto. Compliment her after class or in the dining hall a day or two after the game. Any longer than that and she’ll think you’ve been scheming for weeks and possibly creep her out.

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2. Dig her stunts.

Her purpose is to get the crowd’s attention. She works hard and like anyone else, comes down hard if it’s not done right. Appreciate her talent; college cheerleading can run her 20 hours a week with games, events, gymnastics, stunting, dance and cheer practice. Reinforce her impressive moves, and she just might show you some privately.

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3. Play the Fool.

This may not be hard for some of you, but really, look stupid. She wants to know that her “flip thingy” was like, Damn…the crowd loves that! She endures injury to perfect those flips, so act in awe of what she does and make her smile with your naïve admiration of her goddessness. She’ll feel in control and mastery of what she loves, which could reap huge benefits for you post-game.

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4. Bring a kid to ask for her autograph.

Stupid, but it works. This was my glory moment after one game against U. Conn. (A flock of little girls ran up to me asking for my John Hancock, and I felt like a god.) Her pride and ego boost will clog her vision better than beer goggles. Be nonchalant and blame it all on the annoying rug rat. Do it, and talk it up, chump. Don’t waste your five bucks bribing the little pip squeak.

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5. Go to the front of the bleachers.

And cheer her on, whistle, scream her name. But bring some friends so you don’t look completely insane. She wants to know what she’s doing in front of thousands of people is working. And happen to “be around” after the game, outside the locker room. Sexual harassment is only harassment if the guy is ugly. Otherwise, it’s called flirting.

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