Trolls 101

The Anatomy of a Troll

First off, what is a Troll?
A Troll is an insulter, a flamer or a spammer, a Troll can be many things you see.

A Trolls main diet consists of: flame, spam, and other people’s thoughts, feelings and opinions.

Brain size: miniscule-extreme (depends on the type of Troll)

Attention to detail: extremely high

Potential damage: extremely high

A Troll has only TWO – yes, that’s right, two – weaknesses known to man. It’s weakness is an all-powerful Troll-destroying weapon known simply as “The Banhammer”*. It’s only other weakness is starvation. A troll can’t go very long without an unsuspecting member feeding it and thus ‘rekindling’ the fire of argument.

*Note: Ordinary members do not weild the Banhammer; only moderators an admins have them.

Species of Trolls
The Common Troll: They have everything mentioned in the above posts, and nothing more.

The Thrower Troll: Same as Common Troll, except often found ‘hurling’ insults at people.

The Troll General:These are the most dangerous kind, and are often left unguarded due to the massive volume of Trolls that live with them.

The River Troll: A troll who seems to ‘jump out of nowhere’ while a member is busy, and then start bugging them and constantly battering them at either their post count”OMG yoor such a leech (please insert post count)”, or their rep, “LOLOLOL you haven’t contributed anything to this site GTFO”. These trolls are to be instantly ignored.

The Invincible Troll: A troll that creates a freshly created troll account, and then starts spamming the heck out of the forums. These trolls need ip bans.

The Official Troll: It befriends high up staff then trolls everybody however it wants then blows said staff over AIM to unban them. Its unstoppable. Luckily its funny and amusing. Its name is ronnie. (Credit to TrapJesus for this one)

The Insufferable/Stupid Troll: These Trolls are the same species of troll, just with a different name. They will keep spamming, flaming, and arguing to no end, and just don’t seem to get the meaning of “Shut the hell up”, or “Stop”, or even, “I’m sorry, (insert name here). The best solution for these is just, please, please, don’t feed them.

The Cannibal Troll: Very simply, a Troll who Trolls other Trolls.

The Renaissance Troll: A Troll who is so skilled at Trolling that he makes it seem almost like an art form. These are nearly as dangerous as Troll Generals.

The Anti-purpose Troll: A Troll that does exactly what the thread DOESN’T ask from the people posting on it.

The Suicide Troll: They troll as much as of a thread as they can before a mod comes, leaving a wake of destruction in its path.

The Ice Troll: A troll who attempts to troll by unconventional means such as using ice-related traps to “freeze”, or stop, the current conversation Its main purpose is usually to barge into a conversation and “kill” it with its main weapon, which is a barrage of awkward comments or posts.

The Professor Troll: A Troll that would latches themselves onto a thread they don’t like, makes up a set of morals and logic then say that the victim thread is a violation of all of them as a reason to see it destroyed. Then the Verbose Troll would continuously leech off the ensuing drama until either a mod banhammers it, the mod watching it says who’s lost the argument and locks the thread, or the troll manages to be intellectually checkmated.

The Slippery Troll: The Troll who can Troll you, yet just within moderation to slip under the rules. He can still annoy the hell out of you, by latching onto something that gets you personally, but doesn’t necessarily affect society as a whole. Thus, nearly invincible facing the banhammer.

The God Troll: This Troll, is easily the more dangerous Trolls of all. For he/she can Troll you, and then create reasoning for it. They can create topics that are highly controversial and cause wars, but can convince Moderators it’s necessary and within rules. These Trolls can Troll you, annoy you, and then put logic and intelligence behind it, and then suddenly, you can’t counter what they’re saying. They can be completely wrong and/or completely offensive yet you can’t counter what they’re saying, technically leaving them “right”. (Also known as “The Leech Troll” because they can get inside the heads of the Moderators and become invinsible) – If you see one, do not handle on your own. Leave immediately, call for help. Have the professionals deal with them. They are the most dangerous types of Trolls and should be dealt with accordingly, not by the common folk.

How to Avoid Trolls

*Create Threads with deceptive tiles, so that TOTS (Trolls On The Sneak) don’t target your Thread, while you’ll still get nomal players.

*Try to get Mods on your Thread to hide their posts. This will make them realize that their efforts were futile and they may or may not give up.

3 thoughts on “Trolls 101

  1. Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wished to say that I have truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>